1.68 - The One with the unwanted help

I take pride in what I do...whether its my job(s), or playing music...it's something I do well...or at least I think I do it well. I believe that I hold a certain degree of competence that allows me to perform whatever tasks that are before me. But there are those who always think they know better or more than you no matter how long you've worked there...or how much training, education you have....for example:

On Friday I was putting those felt pads on the bottom of the kitchen chairs at work...I was nailing them in for them to stay on. The chairs get used and abused more so then anything that you'd ever see...so to ensure that these pads would stay...I had to nail them in. This lady was there...never seen her in my life...doesn't work there...just watched me for awhile...and then made a comment about how stupid it was to nail the pads in. usually I wouldn't really care what people say...but she had this nasty voice...all high and mighty. So my co-workers explained to her that this need to be done...but she still said that it was over doing it...

Now on Sunday morning...I was playing guitar during the services...and plugged it into the PA system...did my sound check and everything before hand. When it came time to play...the soundguy forgot to turn my guitar on...so I talked to him later and he said it was his mistake. Some other man was listening into our conversation and siad in a snarly voice..."you're guitar was plenty loud...it was blarring..." Right...me and the soundguy kinda just looked at him...turned and continued on our conversation.

So what is it...do I have this big sign above me requesting for unwanted opinions or comments from people that have no relevance to me? I need someone to help me turn it off...any takers?

1.67 - The One with the needs

when Lesley tells me I need to try something...she's usually right. This time is was to type "[your name] needs" and pick out your favourites and post them. She did it...and now its my turn...so here it goes:

Titus needs a stitter on short notice
Titus needs to assert his authority
Titus needs little explanation (that's right)
Titus needs to beef up their current line up of products
Titus needs to bring a Condo plat for a Conditional Use (what's a condo plat?)
Titus needs a learning boost (ouch...very ouch)
Titus needs state of theart sound equipment (and then some)
Titus needs some binoculars so if anyone has an extra pair...
Titus needs to remain
Titus needs to retire (I must agree)

1.66 - The One with the meat eating vegetarian

I was given a shocking revelation today...my friend Emilie...once a vegetarian...one that really believed in it...once tried to convert me...has turn her back on the veggies and decided to eat meat. This blew my mind...the fact that she didn't really tell me until she asked me what she should make for dinner. When she finally decided on chicken...it made me wonder...ummm I thought chicken was meat. Oh ya...I converted...I've decided that meat tastes too good. Well then...that sounded like my arguement for NOT being a vegetarian...when will these people learn? At least we got one back...

1.65 - The One with the Polka dot socks

well it's that time of year again...when all the leaves turn all different colours...and decide that they want to fall off the branches. When I lived in Saskatoon...we used to have tons of trees in our yard...not only did we have trees in our yard...but all of our neighbours had tons of trees and of course when they fall...they decided to fall into our yard...guess who had the joyous task of raking them up? When we moved to Ontario...we had no trees in our yard...and out neighbours had evergreens...so no leaves to rake. I was happy....but now that I've moved into the Ranch...leaves and showing up in droves...its like they are coming back to see me since they've been out of my life for so long. Everyday I rake...and more and more show up the following day. It doesn't help that it's been so rainy and windy all week.

So my role as the soccer mom has really taken into effect...I was set to pick up J-Ray @ school to take him to his math tutor...and about 10 minutes before I was about to leave I got a phone call from Ola..."Yo T...you're heading into TCS to get J-Ray right? Can you pick up me and Chan at Wal-Mart and take us back to the school?" What do you think I am? A taxi? I suppose so...

D-Ray came back to the Ranch the other day and was trying to figure out which credit card was paying for his internet in Hamilton...we went through a bunch of credit card statements and bills...and couldn't find a thing...we were trying to logically think of how this bill was being paid...Amberley came in and offered her expert advice and said, "...yes...but do you have polka dot socks?" No we did not...it's a shame...I guess we're stuck...

1.64 - The One with the inappropriate comments

It's around supper time and when the phone rings...and the long distance ring tone goes off...you check the call display and it says unknown name and unknown number...you KNOW its a telemarketer. So I pick up the phone...hello?!? No answer...then: hello sir...my name is Ja'mal and I'm calling from the Toronto Sun. I would like to tell you...blah blah blah (this is when I tune out). To which I reply, "Well Ja'mal...you called me last week and the week before that...and I answered you the same each time...wy would you think that I'd change my mind? Look...to make your job easier...how about I make you a deal? If I want to subscribe to you're paper I'll call you...deal? Great...have a good night..."

Now I have a friend...let's call her Monica...cuz that's her name. She tends not to think before speaks...she's trying hard to fix that...but it's not really working that well. he other day she says to Ryan's mom, "I'm not sure why Ryan had such a weight problem...you're really little and your husband is a toohpick." Ryan's mom kinda just stared...not sure whether or not to take that as a compliment or whatever it was. Just this past Sunday...a bunch of us when out after church for food...we were talking about how Monica needs to start thinking before she speaks...and she wholeheartedly agreed. Not even 2 minutes later...she pipes up and says, "I need to shave my arms..."

ya...too much information

1.63 - The One with the Champagne & Strawberries

It appears that I'm a legal guardian for J-Ray...didn't know it at first...I kept on getting e-mails and regular snail mail from his boarding school addressed to me. So I asked him when he was home for Thanksgiving...he tells me that D-Ray and myself are his legal guardians for this year...so this means I get the privledges that that title entails. Including an invitation to his graduation in the fall. Yes I know its October...they just want to let you know ahead of time so you can plan to attend. They also sent a schedule of events...buffet luncheon for the students and family (that's me)....Champagne and Strawberries - exclusively for the students and their families (that's me too). I don't think we had any food or a reception at my highschool grad...maybe we did...but for sure during my college grad we didn't. That's what you get for not going to a prep school...

1.62 - The One with the ugly bird

Ever wonder why we only have turkey on special occasions? It's not like chicken where we can consume it about 10 times a week and never really really get sick of it...don't get me wrong...I love eating turkey...it tastes soooo good. But we don't have turkey every week...well maybe you get the cold cuts and stick it in your sandwich...but we don't go out and get turkey wings, turkey breast, turkey strips...how come? I know it's expensive...but so is steak...and fish...

One more thing...how can something so ugly taste oh so good?

1.61 - The One with the intoxicated golfer

The sign read "No Alcoholic beverages allowed on golf course at anytime." Ok...that's fine with me...not sure how getting drunk would improve your golf game. I was out with Phil golfing on Saturday and we were partnered up with a guy who's friend's didn't show up so he needed playing partners. Fine by me...I usually play better with people I've never met so hopefully that this would be the same. This guy said he had to take 2 buses and a cab to get to the golf course...and he wasn't too pleased with the no alcohol sign...because he had 6 beers in his bag. He obvioulsy had already started to drink...you could smell it on his breath...his speech was already slurred...and this was 2pm. So we tee off on the first hole...I drive it about 280...Phil follows up with about 260...and our drunk partner...7 yards...I think...not even past the ladies tees. Great...this is gonna be a looooonnnngggg round of golf.

By hole 6 this guy had already drank 4 of his 6 beers...plus Phil said he saw him pull out a small bottle of vodka...it was one of the worst rounds of golf I've ever seen anyone play....and I've played many bad rounds...and been with my friends who don't ever play...and they did better. So where is the logic in being drunk and playing sports? Especially golf?

1.60 - The One with the missing angel

I got a strange phone call last night...obviously it was a wrong number...but it was fun to talk to this person anywayz...this is how it went down...

**ring**ring**

"hello?"

a sultry female voice says: "hi angel..."

I'm trying to figure out which one of my friends would call me that...I'm curious...so I play along...and I reply:

"hey..."

"ya know what?"

"no.."

"yes you do..."

still not sure who this is
"no...really I don't"

"I don't want you to leave.."

at this point I'm pretty sure that I don't know the person on the other end...

"I don't think I'm your angel.."

"yes you are..."

"nope...and I'm pretty sure that you have the wrong
number..."

"no...quit playing..."

"sorry girl...I'm not playing...you've really got the wrong person...but good luck with that.."

"oh...is this 905-***-****?"

"no...sorry...have a good night"

"oh I'm so sorry..."

"that's alright...g'bye"

well it was fun while it lasted...but too bad I don't have any friends that call me angel...I have to have complete strangers call me up to say that to me.